by Joy Strange

When you write about sex, it’s easy to assume you know who your audience is. But sex writing isn’t a safe genre when it comes to relying on your assumptions.

Let’s use the delicious photo on the left to illustrate the point a little.

In my mind, sex writers reading this blog are mostly women, so using this photo to appeal to my readers would seem to be a logical choice.

But assuming that all sex writers are hetero women is a bad thing to do. This photo would also appeal to gay erotica writes, or anybody who’s a regular reader of ThreePillows.com (which has an extensive bisexual erotic section in addition to its’ decidedly NOT safe for work front page.)

But that’s the obvious part of all this. Chances are you’re painfully aware of that part of the issue and don’t need a reminder. But what about non-fiction sex writing? As in sexual health and medical issues?

It’s so easy to forget about the partner when writing about sexual health issues. It’s one thing to write about why you should never use flavored lube–both parties can benefit from that one in a general way. But what about when writing about gender-specific health issues? Are you forgetting to throw in some advice to the partner when discussing prostate problems or uterine disorders?

People who write about impotence and lack of desire normally don’t miss the boat on this one, but if you’re talking about HPV or ovarian cysts and how these issues affect sex and sexuality, it’s important to throw a few lines out aimed at partners. Advice on how to be supportive, how to recognize symptoms or just what to do in case of (fill-in-the-blank) is just as important as the stuff you write aimed at your central audience for that article.

Hell, some articles should be devoted solely to partner issues!

Some sex writing doesn’t assume two (or more) people. But solo stuff aside, it’s best to keep the partner in mind in your non-fiction sex writing.

Posted in Sex Writing Career Advice, sex writing tips | 3 Comments »

by Joy Strange

For my money, there are two basic types of nonfiction sex writing for the newcomer; the first-person essay and sexual health writing. I point out these two as “go-to” topics for new sex writers because they are the most easily accessible.

First person sex writing doesn’t require any research, and sexual health research material is plentiful–you can find thousands of sex experts to do interviews with and get authoritative quotes from.

You don’t have to be a newcomer to writing in general to be intimidated by first-person sex topics. It’s not easy to get over the shy factor of writing candidly about sex–especially your own experiences. You are quite literally taking off your clothes for the world to see–even if there aren’t any pictures.

If you find it difficult to write first-person sex essays or creative non-fiction, you do have some alternatives. One is to write these pieces under a psuedonym and accept the fact that if your writing takes off, you won’t be getting credit for the work under your regular name (unless you out yourself later as the writer behind the pen name.)

Another way to go is to write under your own name, but write the creative non-fiction as an observer. Take some creative license with the narrative and write as though you’re talking about a friend. One warning about this approach–always write a caveat in the beginning of your piece saying that some names and events have been altered to protect the privacy of those involved. Do that and you’re off the hook.

Of course, you can always simply cry, “Damn the torpedoes!” and publish your experiences under your own name, but do so only after some careful deliberation. Be fully aware of the potential consequences of your writing and make a fully thought-out decision. Don’t underestimate the power of your writing to affect your life for good or ill. Sex writing is often a controversial niche…don’t assume your work won’t be read by friends, co-workers, ex lovers, parents, etc.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be brave and publish, it just means you should think about it first.

Posted in Sex Writing Career Advice, sex writing tips | 1 Comment »

New sex writers sometimes struggle with establishing their identity as a sex writer. Some come to the sex writing business as new writers, others come from writing backgrounds and have experience writing queries, setting up resume websites, and playing the freelance writing game.

Those with writing experience understand that sex writing, erotica and related topics are niche writing fields. Niche writing is lucrative as long as the niche has a demand, but it’s tricky business to learn the ropes in a new market, and sex writing can be one of the most difficult thanks in part to lots of preconceived ideas about what this market is all about. Experienced writers have the advantage–they’ve seen other niche markets and know how to play the game in a general way. That’s a damn fine start, if you ask me.

New writers typically make similar mistakes when trying to establish an identity as a sex writer. Are you doing any of these?

Pretending to be something you’re not–if you don’t have the published clips to back up your claims, don’t pass yourself off as a magazine writer, sex blogger, or erotica author.
It’s one thing to say that you WRITE, it’s another to misrepresent yourself as being PUBLISHED. You’re trying to get your foot in the door and it’s understandable why you might think it’s OK, but trust me, it can come back to haunt you later.

Over-generalization–sex writing is a huge topic. Are you a sex toy and DVD reviewer or a sexual health writer? You CAN cover these topics, but when you’re new, try to pick a narrower range to cover and market yourself in that particular area. Don’t try to do everything all at once, especially if you’re new to the topic you want to cover. Never reviewed an adult DVD before?

Try doing some of that kind of writing in volume first, get yourself established as someone who does that kind of work reliably and well, then move on to another part of the niche you want to fill.

Dispensing advice before you’re qualified–don’t give people advice about how to become wildly successful sex writers when you yourself aren’t wildly successful. It doesn’t have the ring of authenticity. You don’t have to be a highly paid sex writer to dispense advice about writing, but you do have to know a lot about WRITING.

If you aren’t experienced as a successful sales person, don’t tell other people how to be successful in sales. In short, you can dispense advice you’re QUALIFIED TO GIVE. But people with experience can read your work and tell you aren’t ready to hand out advice when you’re faking it.

Presenting your sex writer identity in the same place as your other writing services--don’t muddy the waters by setting up a resume page that advertises you as a sex writer, a childcare expert, a medical writer and a business correspondent. The people who come to your resume page looking for a business writer will be turned off by your sex writing work, and so will anybody else coming to your site not specifically looking for sex writing skill.

It’s not necessarily about the SEX part–it’s more about a the perception you create about your skill sets. Sell your individual skills, yes…but sell them INDIVIDUALLY where it makes good sense to do so. If a finance editor wants your finance expertise, she doesn’t care about your parenting blog.

Take these to heart, new sex writers, and you will go a lot farther in the early stages of your new career.

Posted in Sex Writing Career Advice | 2 Comments »