When I was 15 and started dating, I would get all gussied up. In those days, girls wore girdles on dates and only the pointiest bra would do. I wasn’t allowed to wear makeup, but I would try to sculpt my eyebrows within an inch of their lives. Basically, I presented the best version of myself I could create.
This same philosophy should be applied to your sex writing career. When you try to get gigs, you need to present your best self. From clips to cover letter to resume, you need to have everything in tip-top shape—unless you plan to self-publish, but that’s another story.
Here’s a handy guide to help you apply for sex writing gigs. Most of these points can be used when you cold email as well:
1. Have a clear vision of what your potential employer wants and how you can fulfill those wants. If they want a fetish writer and the only fetish you’ve written about involves ‘doing it doggy style’ then you, my dear, are not a fetish writer. Don’t assume you can do things you have not done.
2. Understand why you are perfect for the job and tell them. Don’t just state that your sex toy descriptions are the best in the biz, tell them why. Use quantifiable statements, “My description of the Marvel vibrator increased sales by X% in x weeks.”
3. Don’t write an informal and dirty cover letter. Editors and website owners are business people, and those in the sex business have heard it all. Your overtly sexual letter appealing to them for a job is not going to impress them. That being said, a compelling letter with some sophisticated touches of double entendre can work to your advantage. Also, sophisticated double entendre does not include anything like this:
Have you ever tried to have sex while completely stressed out about money? Your mind wanders, it takes forever to cum, at times you lose the sensation in your sexual organs so you are really just going through the motions.
The same thing happens to your sex writing when you are stressed out about money. The once steamy sex scenes you could write quickly become formulaic and base and your frankness and openness about sex, masturbation and toys now seems harsh and grating. Basically, the stress of your monetary situation makes your writing flat and demanding.
Learning how to budget your sex writing income will go a long way to making your writing sexy again. Here are just a few tips to help you:
1. Add up your monthly expenses and find out how much you need to earn just to survive.
2. Take that number and add 42 %. This is the amount you need to earn in order to live and pay taxes. This assumes you are in a tax rate of about 15% and you pay the 15.7% required for Social Security. So why multiply your income needs by 42% instead of 30.7%? Well, because you are increasing your earnings with the tax money and you’ll need to pay taxes on that increase as well.
3. Every time you get paid, take 47% of the payment and shove it in a savings account for taxes (42%) and emergencies (5%). Take another 5% and throw it in an IRA.
Whether you think of yourself as a business owner first or a sex writer first, you are both and the skills associated with each need to be maintained in order for you to be successful.
As a business owner, there are some fundamental things you must do in order to keep your sex writing business afloat:
1. Save money. Out of every paid invoice, you should take at least 5% and set it aside for emergencies. In this business, you never know when you are going to get a stiffy, or get stiffed. You never know when you’re going to screw or get screwed. You also don’t know when a check is going to get lost in the mail or a business is going to go bankrupt. Depend on no one but you.
2. Use accounting software. You can use free accounting software like Outright to track your income and expenses, and to anticipate what your taxes will be. It’s a great way to get a handle on the profitability of your business and to keep Uncle Sam happy.
3. Learn how to schedule your time. Not every project you enjoy will be a paid project. Make sure you schedule your time so that you can work on both paid and unpaid work.
4. Market yourself. If no one knows you exist, you aren’t going to get business. Query publications, cold email webmasters, and network with others in your industry to get some buzz and some gigs.
5. Start a blog. A blog is not only great exposure for you, it also creates an authority about your name in the industry. Lastly, a blog is a great way for editors and webmasters to find and hire you–just make sure this isn’t a personal blog but a professional blog.
When I was 15 and started dating, I would get all gussied up. In those days, girls wore girdles on dates and only the pointiest bra would do. I wasn’t allowed to wear makeup, but I would try to sculpt my eyebrows within an inch of their lives. Basically, I presented the best version of myself I could create.
Have you ever tried to have sex while completely stressed out about money? Your mind wanders, it takes forever to cum, at times you lose the sensation in your sexual organs so you are really just going through the motions.
Whether you think of yourself as a business owner first or a sex writer first, you are both and the skills associated with each need to be maintained in order for you to be successful.
